please forgive me

.. LOL bye

Just when it's getting good, i slowly start to freeze. Just when it's feeling real i put my heart to sleep. It's the memory I can see. Then this fear comes over me understand that I don't mean to push you away from me. You got a way of easing me out of myself i can't stay but I can't leave, I am my worst enemy. Please understand that its not you it's what I do just when I'm about to run I realize what I've become. Why am I so afraid to crash down and lose my heart again. Why am I so afraid to break down and lose my mind again. I don't know, I can't see, what's come over me
Now I wonder what you think of me
Don't know why I break so easily
All my fears are armed surrounding me
I can't get no sleep
I keep running in circles around you
Are you the trap I wanna fall into?
Just because she comes off strong , doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying.
And even though she acts like everything is fine, maybe just maybe , she's really good at lying.

we were set to fail, and it's cause of me. i'm sorry.
i'm sorry i keep changing my mind.
i'm sorry i'm bipolar.
i'm sorry, i wish i could've known better because i wouldn't have done any of this.
i just wanted you to know
i think about you every night
when i fall asleep
you are in my dreams
and just like in a movie
the one you want to see
with a happy ending.
but it's done.
You can move along, I believe that we are done, With Whatever we was trying to do.
I don't wanna be rude, i don't mean to be mean but i don't gotta deal with this mess.
just move along, no argument, no fight.
i'm just trying to be polite.

And if I seem a bit chill It's because I don't sweat the small
Find another boy, please believe i will. I aint tripping off you at all
A boss from the beginning, Been there for a minute
So me losing you was me still me winning.
Please don't get me wrong. Baby understand im trying to say get gone, the nicest way I can 'Cause im not what you want
See I tried to make this work but our loves in the dirt, so lets See who calls who first. Im moving along

YOU KNOW WHAT ..
i'm done
i'm done with trying to get what i want.
i'm done with making new friends cause the ones i got now are great. DL-MG-ML-MB-MA.
i'm done with wanting to make things good with you cause i realized you're a bitch
i'm done with believing that me and you would ever be friends again.
i'm done with wishing that whole thing would've never happened.
i'm done with trusting you.
i'm done with thinking you actually gave a fuck about my boy problems.
i'm done with thinking you would actually understand, CAUSE I KNOW YOU DON'T.
i'm done with reminiscing about the past.
i'm done with blaming myself.
i'm done with hating myself for wasting time on you
i'm done with caring about you.
i'm done with you.
i'm not going to stress over you anymore.
it isn't worth it. i tried to work something out,
but you just ignored it.
i'm not trying to say i don't want you because i definitely do.
all i'm saying is i'm done chasing after you
hate is only for people who have
never experienced the love of
someone true and faithful
thanks to you, i'm less of a person now.
but now, i'm stronger than ever cause of this.
you don't even know what i'm feeling & you probably won't even understand. i'm a dreamer with nothing left to dream, trying to tear a hole in the seam of reality.
i'm sorry for everything i've said & for anything i forgot to say. when things get so complicated..i stumble, at best, muddle through. i wish that our lives could be simple. i don't want the world. i wish i could tell you this face to face but there's never the time and never the place. my life may be complicated, but
complication is what made me.

i didn`t like how he never opened up to me, how he was so quiet. how his problems were always solved by a jog. how he always ran away from everything that meant something to him. but, i mean i guess i have to respect that; respect it all. i mean that`s part of his personality, part of him. that`s who he is & i can`t change him. i know that now, i know he`s not someone i can define. he`s not someone i can alter or make mine. he`s someone who was born unique & beautiful. he`s a part of this world & just cause he ran away from me. it dosen`t mean that everything`s over. it dosen`t, i mean i know underneath it all he still cares. i know by how he acts that this isn`t goodbye forever, i know there`s more. so i`ll let him run, why? cause i like him, cause he`s someone that i can respect. he`s someone that holds my heart, that`s why. sometimes you need time to clear your mind but when you try you always come back to that one person that you know is the person your meant to be with. you spend all your time preaching about waiting for love. well here it is. right in front of you, and you're going to turn your back on it. so i guess we're just fucked. i'll move on. but you are going to have to live the rest of your life knowing that you've turned your back on love. and that makes you a hypocrite.

you're good at everything, but an expert at nothing.

have a nice life kids.

k well, the hotel here are bleh, buuut new york was so good,
i think they saw me on the today show :)
and i met people from twlight? like the evil ones?
i don't even know their names, they're cute though.
but Atlantic city! (L)
it was too good to me, i totally forgot that i was here during Independence daay.
TOOO FUCKING LIVE. A PARTY ON THE FUCKING BEACH, NON STOP DANCING, SWIMMING.
AND I FINALLY GOT TO GET DRINK AFTER A FEW WEEKS? HAHAH
EVERYTHING JUST GOT BETTER.
nothing can beat last night, bunch of fake tanned people with nice bodies.
and those people aren't even 20 yet LOL
I'M ON MY WAY TO PHILLLY AND WASHINGTON.
ever since i was left here with my family i've been stuck with like .. next asians HAH
no complaints though, went to bed at 6am. woke up at 6:30am.

btw, did i mention first place state regionals.
but nbd.